So, we decides to go on this trip, right?
Me and some of me buddies, right? So, we do it. I says, we do it, and we done it. And everybody says we do it, and we done it! Right now we’re right at the end of it, in dear Bratislava, the beloved European capital with cheaper beer than Cluj. But before, we has to cross the Slovenian border, and we has to stop at this capital city, called Ljublijana (nice city, by the way). And so we says, since we’s decided to do it, why not sip a beer or two in Slovenia? And so by God we decided. And so by God almighty we did. We just headed out to the first pub that emerged from amidst old buildings and outdoor advertising. And so we goes in, and we orders. Four beers, and nothing less. And we waits. And then ze devil on me right shoulder spake: “Yo, brother! Wasssaaaaa… why not play a trick or smth, like a good brother! Why, it’s the first of April! Your day!!” And then my left shoulder angel comes  out in a fluffy cloud, yelling: “True!True!” And I says, like good old Zorba: “Who the hell am I to choose?” And so I goes to the tender – bartender, that is – and I says: “Yo, brother, you and I, u know, u and I, yo, we were meant to be together, bro! So here’s the thingie: see that table with those funny looking characters who couldn’t even star the film on their own life, dawg? So, here’s the deal: you, my man, you hand them, I mean, really hand them a fake bill, u know whatt’I’m sayin’? You just do that. Produce a fake bill worth 200 freakin’ euros for that shit you just brought us over, and we’ll have some good time!” And zen ze friikin’ tender – bartender, that is – looks at me and sez “I am sorry! Ich bin not allowed to do that! It is against club hrrre… hrrre… hrregulationz!” “Yo, bro, says I, u know what, do the right thin’, bro! Here’s the deal: u just produce a fake hand-written bill, and I myself with my own both right arms will hand it over to my colleagues, is that cool to you? C’mon, bro, gimme smth!” And he says: “Ich can trhhry” “At a boy, spake Radu, at a boy. Me knew you and I had this thin’ goin’ on between you and me, u know whatt’I’m sayin’, u and me? ‘Course u do, you even look smart. U just lemme know when you wants to do it”, so I walk back to the table, only to return a minute later and say “Bro, u knows what? Just make it 90 euros, that’s more down to earth, or something”, and I winks at him. And he winks back, with a sadistic smile. And 10 minutes later, when we ask for the bill, ze guy hands it over to me, and I produce the biggest eyes the size of onions Ljublijana has ever seen: “My, oh, my, this looks pretty expensive!” And with a nervous grim I hand it over to ze guyz. And they looks at it, and they goes all at once: “Freaaaaaakiiin’ huuuuge biiiiilllll” And believe me, that was no Monica talking about no Bill Clinton, no, they wasn’t! So I start chuckling and I grabs me camera, and I puts it all on film. And so they spends 8 minutes comparing prices on the menu to prices on the bill, they are!
And then I laughed on their faces, on their faces I did, ’cause they deserved it! And some of them even deserved communism, 50 years, they did!

Written by Groparu Nemernic

Nascut din spermatozoizi campioni... cred.

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